escape the vortex

I typed different paragraphs about 3 times already, and none of them survived to be published.

I tried to write about faith, but since it’s a sensitive matter and there are too many stereotypes around us, I ended up deleting it. The truth is everyone does get scared when they are being judged.

So I tried to talk about best friend, but since I have zero experience on that I figured maybe I shouldn’t write that. *and I’ve read this line for a dozen time and still thinking the reasons why, or to put words on it.

So I figured out maybe someone out there, I don’t know who they are, would like to read my self description, just to get out of their routines, or something they do out of the blue. But no, I ended up wordless in describing myself.

But alas, my mental demands me to post something today.

*actually this is the last part that I wrote. I put it here just to give warning that this is my self reflection and I have to post it to really reflect on myself. I think I have minor OCD.

Why do I feel so misplaced?
Why do I feel so unstable?
This is not just some random post about unstable adolescent freaking out, searching for their true self. No. It’s me, it’s worse.
There is no meaningful achievement I’ve ever gained.
I never made it to be the first in the class.

But..

I always knew there’s some great potential resting in my soul, flowing in my blood, waiting to be awakened, to say it with cliché.

Now I REALLY have to buy that one book I saw earlier at Times.
Ugh it’ll cost me my a**